Insomnia

I don't sleep very well.  I never have.  Not even as a baby.  Dad tells stories of lying in bed reading a book while pushing my pram back and forth with his foot, trying to rock me to sleep.  That worked better than Mum trying to rock me to sleep in her arms.  Apparently when she though I must have been asleep, she'd look down and I'd be staring up at her wide awake.  I never took afternoon naps as a toddler like my brother did. I'm often partial to the odd nap these days, but that's due to a pretty hectic lifestyle.  My brother can sleep anywhere, at any time.  

At the moment my life is not hectic at all, and as a result I am not tired enough at the end of the day to sleep.

When I got my new doctor I told him I had trouble sleeping.  He told me, "oh that's normal, none of you can sleep".

I'm not allowed to have the strong, knock you out sleeping tablets because of my 'alcohol problem'.  Ok that's not what he said.  Dr said they wouldn't be a good idea because I drink.  I guess he's afraid I'll accidentally kill myself.  So he prescribed Melatonin, which is a hormonal sleeping tablet and has been proven to be effective when used with old people, and those with ADHD.  Interesting combo.

I can't honestly say if they work or not.  I have never had a stay awake all night insomnia experience when taking them, but maybe I was going to fall asleep anyway that night.  I've tried every herbal sleeping product available, teas, tablets, antihistamines that are supposed to make you drowsy, and those definitely don't work.

I took one tonight because I was lazy all day and have a job interview tomorrow, so my mind is a bit too busy.  It's only 11:30 but I'd like to get into the habit of sleeping regular human hours.

Network

An acquaintance started a community/page/group called Chronically Blogging Australians for people with disabilities or chronic illnesses who write blogs to share them and support each other.  I invited myself to join, as technically ADHD is a legally recognised disability, and well, this is a blog.

I've been checking out some of the other blogs in the network and wow, so many stories and personal accounts from amazing people who deal with a lot more than I do.  Some of these people have rare and serious conditions that threaten their lives, while I complain that I can't sit through a boring movie.  And although my Dad is constantly telling me that my drinking problem will kill me, that's a separate issue.  Or it is?

I'd put a link but I'm not 100% sure yet if it is a public facebook page and what will be on it.  Once I know I'll post it here.

Oops

Missed appointment with ADD doctor.  Ironic, or just expected?


Luckily they had a cancellation and I can get in next week.

I said to the woman on the phone, "well he treats people with ADD so he's probably used to it."

Very disappointed with myself.

I woke up this morning thinking it was today but reassured myself that today was in fact Monday, so it was fine.  It is indeed, Monday.  But when I checked my diary to see what time Tuesday my appointment was, I saw that is was for Monday.  Grrr!  I guess I knew on some level but I was SURE it was Tuesday the 23rd.  After all, how did I know that Tuesday was going to be the 23rd?  Oh crap, what if I have something important planned for Tuesday!

New University Semester

I am going back to on-campus study, and I will be full time for the first time in two years.

I'm only doing three subjects instead of four, which is a good number for me, and as I will be living with my parents and won't have a job, I'll probably have a lot of time to get the work done.

I'm not going back until the third week of April though (I hope, trying to change my flight) so I will do the first half of the semester online from Canada.

I'm doing some really horrible sounding subjects though.

Maths and Physics, which I failed last time, don't understand at all and will probably need to hire a tutor for.

Project Management, which involves time management, not my strong area.

Professional Practices, which involves I have no idea what, I can't work out what this subject is actually about, but the unit guide says that people with good time management skills will do well.

So basically this semester I'm going to need to get really good at time management really quickly.  This might be good for me, for life.  I suck so much at this and it's going to be such a struggle, but at the end I might be a lot better off.

Still not looking forward to the next 4 months though!!

2 down 3 left

There are an unusually high number of people with ADD in my department at work.  There are 35 of us total, so statistically there should only be 1 - 2 of us.  From memory that sounds right, I'm not going to look that up or I'll get distracted and not end up finishing this post.

One I was never sure 100% about (I never asked him but there were a lot of signs) and he was the first to get fired.  The next one got fired two days ago.  Being late, not paying attention to details on the job, forgetting stuff.  I too, have been fired for those things in the past.  It sucks because you know you did them and stuff like that is so easy, so think, how could little things like that build up a cost me my job?

The first one just make too many little mistakes, the second one made a couple of big screw ups and had to be fired on principle, even though he was a good worker.  A colleague on the work bus yesterday morning commented, "I don't think he was ever really paying attention."  Yep.

So there are three of us left (100% sure, I have talked with them about ADD) and me and the other guy are both older and have gotten better at managing our lives and work skills.  The other is the manager and pretty on to things as well.

I'm not sure what my point was, just that it's an interesting coincidence that the ADD people got fired.

It's funny, sometimes I am so proud of myself, because I can do what normal people can do.  I can study online, I can do assignments, I am so amazing.

I can't remember what th second half of that thought was supposed to be.

Remember when I lived in Vancouver?  I caught the sea train a couple of times.  It was cheap but annoying,

We can spot each other

My current room mate also has ADD.

It took me about a week to spot it.  He's an inattentive, they are harder to notice.

It took about 2 weeks before he told me.  I said I already knew.

Also identified another one at my new job,  Again the older ones are harder to spot because we have gotten better at living life, but it's still pretty obvious if you know what you are looking for.  We have a sort of bond at our boring job.  You too huh?  I understand.

It's weird seeing from other people perceptive what we are like.  Changing topics mid sentence, interrupting, losing stuff.  Our place is a mess but we mostly remember to put the garbage out on the right day and pay the bills.

I'm better at not being late to work but I have had an extra few years practice.

I should do my laundry tonight, right now before I forget and start doing something else.  Oh right the stove is on, might take care of that first.